My brain is ready to grow up but my heart wants to stay younger, for just a little bit longer.
I think I just defined my current heartache; this is the only time I remember ever acknowledging that fact.
And since I'm ready to admit it out loud, does this mean I'm on my way to some sort of self-reconciliation? I hope so. I'm not fond of being emotionally distraught at the lack of my social life and the addition of never-ending responsibilities. I mean, why should I care that I no longer hang out with people I used to kick it with back in the day? BECAUSE I DO! Ugh. To be more honest about it, it's not the people per se; it's the feeling that group evokes, the time they represent (those times were FUN) and the reminder that you were once cool in your life. That you hung out with the coolest people you knew back then. Everybody had their own definition of cool. I was lucky enough to get to know the "cool" people I eventually became friends with. Damn, those times were really fun.
I think a common mistake I make is comparing then and now and I think doing that just plain depresses me. How could it not? I'm comparing late night gigs to everyday office. The difference is as vast as a whale's vagina. Of course I can smugly say this because I came to the realization all by myself while having breakfast earlier. I wish you all breakfast revelations; they're a good way to start the morning. It gives you some sense of cosmic purpose throughout your day. Gross, I sound like a new age hippie.
So kids, next time you lament about lost youth, remember that it's not lost; it's over. What you're thinking about are memories, not some vaguely remote future for your Peter Pan Syndrome. You had your youth, I hope you enjoyed it.
I think I just defined my current heartache; this is the only time I remember ever acknowledging that fact.
And since I'm ready to admit it out loud, does this mean I'm on my way to some sort of self-reconciliation? I hope so. I'm not fond of being emotionally distraught at the lack of my social life and the addition of never-ending responsibilities. I mean, why should I care that I no longer hang out with people I used to kick it with back in the day? BECAUSE I DO! Ugh. To be more honest about it, it's not the people per se; it's the feeling that group evokes, the time they represent (those times were FUN) and the reminder that you were once cool in your life. That you hung out with the coolest people you knew back then. Everybody had their own definition of cool. I was lucky enough to get to know the "cool" people I eventually became friends with. Damn, those times were really fun.
I think a common mistake I make is comparing then and now and I think doing that just plain depresses me. How could it not? I'm comparing late night gigs to everyday office. The difference is as vast as a whale's vagina. Of course I can smugly say this because I came to the realization all by myself while having breakfast earlier. I wish you all breakfast revelations; they're a good way to start the morning. It gives you some sense of cosmic purpose throughout your day. Gross, I sound like a new age hippie.
So kids, next time you lament about lost youth, remember that it's not lost; it's over. What you're thinking about are memories, not some vaguely remote future for your Peter Pan Syndrome. You had your youth, I hope you enjoyed it.
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